First Date Pointers

Once you have spent some time online chatting, sending messages, and getting know different people on whichever dating service you have signed up for, it will soon become time to ask them out for the dreaded first date.

First dates (like setting up your profile) do not have to be stressful or tons of work.  While we know that you want your first date to be absolutely perfect, with your partner in awe of your wittiness and sexiness, we want to stress what we said earlier about your profile:

Don’t over-think it!

However, don’t under-think it either.  With that, keep in mind some of these few tips that have helped many of us along the way.

Ask them.

  • This sounds pretty simple, but we all know that it is not.  One of the great things about using a deaf-dating service is that everyone is using the service explicitly to find someone to connect with.
  • However, make sure that you are actually interested in the other person first.  After chatting and sending messages back and forth with a potential date, see if that person sparks your interest.  If so, simply ask them if they want to meet some time to get to know one another.  Again, the great thing about these dating services is that communication is online and not directly in person (which can be a great boost of courage!)  Once both of you express interest, figure out a place and time that’s good for both of you.

Plan the date.

  • While it may seem like dinner and a movie (or maybe just dinner) is the easiest thing to do on a first date, it might not be the best.  We love movies as much as the next person, but they don’t offer much time to get to know one another.  As well, some people might not feel comfortable eating with a stranger.  Instead, keep in mind what a first date is trying to accomplish:
    • Let you meet the other person
    • Experience how the two of you interact together in a number of different ways
    • Be entertaining for both people
    • See if you want to meet again
  • Thus, the dinner and the movie idea might only fulfill one or two of those goals.  Instead, try some of these ideas:
    • Is there a sport both of you enjoy doing?  Biking? Running? Soccer?  Try engaging in some physical activity together.  Even if you aren’t the most physically inclined, doing something together, rather than simply sitting somewhere, does wonders for taking the pressure off and makes conversation flow.  Playing a game together helps that playful, flirty spirit and lets you experience how the two of you interact.
    • Be a tourist in your own city.  Oftentimes we never see the wonders of our own hometown.  Go to a museum, a zoo, an art gallery, an amusement park.  Doing things like this will give you loads to talk about.  It also gives you a “vacation spirit” that helps ease nervousness and lets the two of you get absorbed in something new together.  And even if the date doesn’t go well, at least you got to go to the zoo!
    • Do something the two of you have never done before but always wanted to.  First dates are all about newness and firsts- why not make the date itself be something you have never tried?  Be adventurous as you want to be- this does not have to be anything crazy.  It can be anything from going to a market, to taking a cooking demonstration class.  If you are both interested, try it out.
  • Some things to avoid:
    • Dinner and a movie.  For all the reasons we said above, this isn’t the best option for a first date.  It’s not horrendously bad, but there are much more fun alternatives.
    • Dinner in your own apartment or any other secluded spot.  Even if you think you can fill your apartment with the most romantic candles, it is much better to save this for a later date.  Have your first date in an open, public place, with plenty of people around.  It helps everyone feel safe.
    • Double/Triple/Group/Family Dates.  A first date is all about the two of you (and only the two of you) meeting and getting to know each other.  You shouldn’t have to meet anyone’s brother/mother/best friend on the first date.
    • Doing something that only one person knows about or is interested in.  You are an equal partner in your dating.  Thus, it’s best to do something together that both of you enjoy doing and know a little something about.  Dragging a date along to your favorite activity which they don’t have any interest in is never a good idea.